Brian vs. The Tsunami

In episode 8 of Real World: Explosion, Brian described a dream he had the night after being slapped and kicked around by Jenny. In all honesty, this dream was amazing. We already knew Brain had a lot of feelings after Jenny told him to go make a “thought record” (which, by the way, I would totally buy a book of Brian’s thought records), but this dream gives us an unfiltered view into his subconscious. For those who don't remember his dream, I rewatched the episode and transcribed the confessional when he explains it to the producers.

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Brian: “I had a dream last night and I just remembered it, and Jenny was in my dream and there were other girls in my dream and there was like this huge tsunami and it was up to me to preserve, to save the human race and I was heroic in my victory. And the woman I chose was not Jenny, it was the beautiful woman who met all my expectations and I won, I won the war.”

Producer: “So what do you think this means?” (holding back laughter)

Brian: “I have to put Jenny aside and focus on me.”

I love this dream for so many reasons. First and foremost I love the line “heroic in my victory.” I am going to get that translated to latin and get it tattooed on my back. It’s amazing. Second I wish I could see how this played out because at the end of the dream, he gets to “choose a woman?” This leads me to believe (and now I am just assuming here) there was a final scene in his dream where Barack Obama is awarding a medal to Brain for saving the world and thanking him for “being heroic in his victory.” Barack then points to a row of women and explains that Brain can choose anyone that he wants as a reward for, you know, saving the world from a Tsunami. Standing in this line of woman is, of course, Jenny. However, Brian being the Tsunami slaying enlightened individual that he is, walks right by her, and picks the woman who meets “all his expectations.” Which I think are obviously 3 things:beautiful, not a physical threat to him (Jenny has scored A LOT of “hitting someone points”), and obviously a CHEMICAL ENGINEER.

Based on this scene alone, I want this dream to be made into a movie. It would obviously be directed by Michael Bay, because I don't know anyone else more qualified to pull off the Brian vs. Tsunami fight. Not to mention Brian is basically already a super hero. DID YOU SEE ALL THOSE UNWARRANTED PULL UPS HE DID IN THE STREETS OF SAN FRAN?!?!?! Also, the sequel is going to write itself, once Jenny is rejected, she turns into the giant mythical squid Brian has alway suspected she was and starts to wreak havoc on the United States Naval Fleet.

Now call me crazy but then I got around to thinking, what is Brain going to do with all his time between filming these two blockbusters?!?! So I put together a list of projects that I want to see Brian tackle in his time off:

Star along side of Cory in the next season of True Detective

Participate in a televised spelling bee (HOW DO YOU SPELL APOLOGIZE!?)

Narrate the newest History Channel documentary about the possibility of aliens in our universe

And obviously become an astronaut, because that's so easy these days given technology and what not

God, if only half of this comes true I can die happy.