Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Simeon's Simulated Draft

So not to call Mike out on his draft order but I have been watching The Challenge since it used to have the words Road Rules in the title. I have been watching the Real World since season 9, the FIRST time they went to New Orleans. MTV Reality TV is my jam and Mike forgets that. These people are my extended family and I know how they would perform at the family reunion picnic games. I based my draft analysis primarily on the ability to compete but for the middle of the pack, where everyone is about the same for ability, it was mostly based on how drunk and stupid the person is. I'm not trying to say my list is better than Mike's but the reality is, I've been watching this garbage for a lot longer.

  1. CT
  2. Laurel
  3. Frank
  4. Cara Maria
  5. Zach
  6. Nany
  7. Leroy
  8. Camila
  9. Jordan
  10. Nia
  11. Cohutta
  12. Jasmine
  13. Bananas
  14. Jessica
  15. Isaac
  16. Dustin
  17. Jonna
  18. Theresa
  19. Swift
  20. Emilee
  21. Jemmye
  22. Johnny
  23. Chet
  24. Brandon
  25. LaToya
  26. Aneesa
  27. Devyn
  28. Preston

Mike's Reaction to Simeon's Draft

First off, you have Cara Maria in your top 5... YOUR TOP FIVE.... Cara Maria is the classic case of being coached up. She got to the finale twice so far, but both times she had someone literally DRAGGING HER.. (well, not literally but still this is what come to mind when I think of both Cara's two finale appearances). Both Laurel and Abe had to do some much hand holding with Cara, its hard to even imagine what she will be like with out them. I'm going out on a limb and calling that at least one of the next three things will happen.

1)Cara Maria fails to attempt a challenge because shes scared
2)Cara Maria cry's after she has been chosen to preform a 1v1 elimination challenge
3)Cara Maria cry's when she realize that a majority of the house hates her

Also, everything on Cara Maria's etsy is trash (this has nothing to do with drafting.. I'm just saying)

My other beef with Sim's draft is how low he has Brandon going. Currently, Sim has him going 24th overall... I think that its a steal. I will admit there is not a ton of good things to say about Brandon, but the guy never really had a chance. He was tied to Katlyn the first time around in the Fresh Meat II, which is essentially like being tied to an anvil while trying to run a marathon. Then on The Challenge: Cut Throat, he went to the Gulag three times before being eliminated by Derick and Derick is a best so there is no same in that. All in all, I think Brandon is a solid pick for the middle of any draft, and if he slips to bottom ten... he's a steal.

Now I'g going to take some time to talk about one of my favorite people on the show, Camilla. Shes amazing for so many reasons: shes loud, shes in your face, and shes drunk out monster 90 percent of the time. Also, everyone underestimate her because of her size and body composition (78 percent alcohol). On the last Challenge her and Jemmye were partners and made it to third place... I am reluctant to give Jemmye any of that credit. Simeon is sleeping on Camilla and I truly believe she has a really good chance at being in the finale.

Take this as you will, but I know for a fact that Simeon was listening to Cassie's "Me & U" while determining his draft order....

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